It’s tempting to go straight at the emotion of a scene. To write what the character is feeling. Or to even have them say it in dialogue.
“I love you.”
That lets the reader know it. But it doesn’t make the reader feel it.
The picture above conveys tenderness, love, partnership, safety, comfort, ease. And we can sense it because we can see it.
No emotion words needed.
Here’s a snippet full of emotion that does not use any emotion labels:
Jen studied the table, finding it impossible to meet her mother’s weary eyes. The cafe door jingled as another patron went out. Jen’s neck flushed. Her sweater felt suddenly too tight, too hot. The heat rushed like a geyser to her cheeks. God! To be just a patron and not a daughter. That was freedom. Because then she’d be able to get up and walk out, jingle the bell one last time, and be away from this impossible table and its half-eaten scones and going-cold coffee.
We might need more context to understand all of the emotional currents in the the little vignette above, but we don’t need much.
Even by itself it provokes a sense of several emotions. Jen is uncomfortable under her mother’s gaze. Whatever she’s feeling, it’s making her too hot, and that’s making her more uncomfortable. Is it embarrassment? Is it anger? Is it guilt? She sure has a wish for freedom, which suggests being trapped. The half-eaten meal and cold coffee suggests the meal was interrupted by a discussion that had cost one or both of them their appetites.
Real emotions are complex, and you can evoke them more powerfully by not naming them directly. Let your reader infer the emotion and suddenly they aren’t merely thinking: “oh, this character feels guilty, or she feels judged.” They are feeling it.
And that is powerful.
As you continue in your writing journey, you’ll come across scenes where complex—or chaotic—emotion is needed.
Sometimes the most powerful way to say “I love you” is something quite indirect:
“You had me at hello.”
Do you remember what movie that famous line is from?
That payoff is anything but generic, and that’s why it knocks our socks off.
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